short people got no reason (to shop)

[parthenia]

So I went to Southampton for a 9.30 meeting.

AAAAAAAAAAARRGGGGHHHHH

Had to get dressed in the dark at 5 am for posho meeting involving jacket and skirt. Could not find sheer tights in the dark so ended up wearing Geek Shoes with dark brown fishnet tights. This worked strangely well.

Met client's scary boss in Southampton who immediately bearded me about results and complained about the lack of my mentioning AGE as an important factor blah blah age age age age whyhaventyoumentionedageyetyabitch? (Possibly because, not important?)

On the way back through London, I went shopping. First I trawled through House of Fraser (kill me now), Mexx (mm mocha cotton posh drainpipes), French Connection (INVISIBEL PROFFIT WRNING); Selfridges (pawed Miu Miu and Kenzo; mewed at overpriced DKNY; breathed on Vivienne Westwood - seriously, if I ever come into a fortune, I will start there); and then found myself next door in Marks and Spencer's flagship branch at Marble Arch, which - if there is any justice in the world - must be about to experience its grand recovery stumbling.

There aren't many outlets that are prepared to sell me petite fit anything, so I have always maintained a certain level of low key loyalty to M&S. Seriously though, I have never seen such a fugly bunch of garments...their head buyer's left, hasn't she? They've gone back to the nasty hard colours. There was an entire half floor devoted to trousers: a sea of navy and black, not styled, not mixed and matched - nothing. Just - crammed on racks. Random sizes, as well, like 15 sixe 8s and then an extra long size 30. T-shirts in awkward shapes dripping with rhinestones. And bloody linen everywhere. They probably have linen in the sandwiches. I love linen on other people, but srsly, no. And M&S linen is especially thick and heavy and crumples damply on your body like elephant hide.

What COMPLETELY pisses me off is that M&S have their 'groovy' Autograph/Limited ranges, and they have deliberately designed the whole lot for tall flat-chested people. You know what? I'd like to kick people who design Petite ranges and clearly spend their lives going 'Ooh, short people! They're so ickle and cute. They can't possible just want short versions of regular fashion! That would be too easy! Let's give them nasty nylon 1980s power suits!'

M&S have brought back tapered cropped trousers. All by themselves. In fucking beige linen.

And - it's not like that they can't do it. This is the shop that brought us late night couscous salads at major train stations. Prawn laksa. Honduran prawns. Just - swap them round!! Make the foodpeople do the fashion and vice versa, and then we'd have ripoff DKNY fitted shirts!! (And 1970s motorway service station sandwiches, and boil-in-the-bag cannelloni!)...

Anyway. I went back to Jigsaw. *cough*.

Comments

[melusina]

You know what? I'd like to kick people who design Petite ranges and clearly spend their lives going 'Ooh, short people! They're so ickle and cute. They can't possible just want short versions of regular fashion! That would be too easy! Let's give them nasty nylon 1980s power suits!'

OMG, I'm *so* with you on this. . .

[parthenia14.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Short people may like fashion, despite their diminutive size.

People used to tell me I should shop from children's departments, and...well. asdfg$%^&!!!.

[melusina]

I get so frustrated at the "petite" section - it's all cutesy with little ducks on it, or incredibly matronly and old-lady like!

It's kind of sad, but for casual clothes, I sometimes do better in the children's department (especially now that kid's clothes are so trendy).

[ruric.livejournal.com]

I had a binge at the Kingston M&S on Saturday - and was similarly horrified (except by the linen because I LURVE linen).

I was mostly after a bunch o' t-shirts to get me through the first part of the season. Cheap tshirts I won't feel bad about getting ink, dust, crud etc all over when shifting materals in and out of the basement at work.

*koff*

I might just've bought a couple of white linen shirts too.

*koff*

But yeah - preeeeety much horrified by what else they have on offer.

also really NOT wild about the current crop of "hip" colours. *shudder*

[parthenia14.livejournal.com]

I love the look of linen, and to be fair they did have some very pretty white linen shirts; but although I'm always very tempted by it, I have painfully learned that a) white looks like hell on me b) my track record on ironing isn't everything it could be and c) by the time I've shlepped into London on the train, anything linen I'm wearing is crumpled and sticky. :(

I did buy some coloured linen-mix jeans, though.

I really liked M&S when they sorted out Per Una and started selling quite flattering clothes - they still have a lot of the same shapes, like fitted dresses and skirts, but most of the colours and patterns were ...evil. M&S always, always tends towards acid pastels rather than deep or muted colours. The Autograph range is very nicely made but it seems incredibly unwearable (http://www.marksandspencer.com/gp/product/B00188K4CC/ref=pd_sbs_3/202-6755578-9857432?ie=UTF8&mnSBrand=core); and I'm thinking, why don't you make some fashionable clothes that your core customer might like to buy?? Eh? Trust me, your core customer is not buying viscose jersey playsuits.

/rant rant rant

ruric, buying T=shirts? Mwahahahaha.

[fungus-files.livejournal.com]

Re the dastardly deeds of linen: I've never seen a fabric so prone to spontaneous creasing (it rivals the early 'microfibres' that were meant to never need ironing...).

Loved your description of the M&S 'range', though, hampered as I am with sartorial retardation.

Hope you and your household are feeling more hale and less wriggly these days. *fosters optimism*

[parthenia14.livejournal.com]

Selling linen = selling a promise that it will look That Good on you, just as it looked on the hanger. These are lies, my children.

Feeling more hale? Hahahaha.

I have a huge affection for M&S and it kind of upsets me when I see them seemingly unable to sell things. Trouble is, they hate their core customers and would like some prettier, younger, thinner ones.

[oursin.livejournal.com]

'Ooh, short people! They're so ickle and cute. They can't possible just want short versions of regular fashion!

'Let's give them mimsy frilly floral prints!' - or this is what I tend to find, to my horror, in the various petite ranges in J Lewis, etc. This drives me back to M&S, usually, even though they do do these weird and annoying things from time to time (did I ever mention going to the other Oxford St branch and finding about one one-piece swimsuit in size 10 that wasn't hideous floral print? nearly all the one-piece suits were in much larger sizes.)

[parthenia14.livejournal.com]

I went and looked at the petite ranges in House of Fraser (Precis, Minuet etc) and they were astoundingly horrible.

Next has quite a promising petite range but again, it's a stripped-back range that doesn't relate all particularly well to the main range. I know you can shorten trousers, but on a bootleg or a wideleg pair of trousers that's not always possible. Gah.

[oursin.livejournal.com]

Just because I'm small doesn't mean I'm twee!
Will bear Next in mind.

[parthenia14.livejournal.com]

The other one I depend on is Dorothy Perkins, who do surprisingly nice petite jeans - comfortable and flattering.

It's non-jeans that are the problem, really.

Heh, I need more fashion icons.