At Home I'm A Tourist

1.

I accidently took little E and her friend to see Avengers Assemble, and came to a sad realisation that I will never be a proper fan. I have seen shedloads of squeeing, and I thought it was sort of fun, but I had no idea who anyone was apart from Tony Stark, and jeez the bit where they save New York City just went on and on and on. Why are there Norse Gods? Evil Norse Gods with English accents? Why didn't Spiderman turn up?

Very pretty though. Great costumes. Excellent aliens. Some hilarious lines. Avoidance of the 'darker than ever' line. And more actual comic-book cinematography, I'm thinking, than most, without getting into Sin City territory.

Whisper from person near me: 'OMG, Gwyneth Paltrow looks OLD.'

2.

The mega-workload continues. We shall not speak of it

3.

I managed to raise my head above the workload to contemplate the state of the house and why it is so very untidy. I actually think B. really doesn't see it. He arranged an Easter egg hunt in the house for little E and couldn't understand why she missed so many of the little eggs (answer: totally camouflaged by the shedloads of crap surrounding them).

Ruric visited and introduced me to the Tumblr site, Unfuck Your Habitat, which is sort of Flylady for Godless Heathens.

I've come to various conclusions, but the main one is that we have too much stuff. There is new stuff all the time. The dog's illness contributed a giant wire dog cage to the living room. He is better. The cage remains, as does the pop-up pet carrier I got when he was a puppy, which he doesn't fit in any more. It's now in the hallway for me to trip over every day. Five binbags of cassette tapes and VHS tapes, from my research days, which need confidential salvage (at a price). Five boxes of computer photo paper, mostly unused. And on and on and on, in every room of the house.

It's the getting-rid-of which seems to stop me. Take the photo paper. I know I have no real use for the photo paper (it's more reliable and cheaper to use a photo print service), but...someone could have a use for it. There's a kind of value trapped in it, that I fear I would lose forever if I threw it away. I could Freecycle it (I like Freecycle), but the process of listing/choosing/liaising takes its own energy...

My goodness. that sounds pathetic. D: But I can come up with that type of thinking for so much of the Stuff around here.

I dunno, it's like these possessions CLING. I have clothes bagged up to throw away, but I don't get round to taking them to the charity shop. I should give away some of the books that I know I'll never read, but what if I become housebound/we hit a nuclear winter and I realise that I really should have hung on to that Philip Hensher novel that B read.

(The Sue Grafton set is going nowhere, obviously).

Then there's the 1994 Lonely Planet Guide to India and 20 books about motherhood...they're my past! What if I want to re-explore the psychic pain of ealry motherhood? What if I forget I went to India, or someone challenges me to prove it? Without that guide book I'm lost!

I liked that guidebook.

So. Er.

I'm never going to become a minimalist, but I think if I recycled/junked/gave away about 20% of our Stuff, it would be a hell of a lot easier to keep things tidy. I am cautiously embarking on a project to reduce inventory.

I have no clue where to start. Maybe the floor? Maybe get stuff off the floor. All the floors. We have a lot of floors.

*looks around*

Fucking hell, there is a half-made Ikea desk (surplus to requirements, returning it isn't worth the petrol) propped up against this desk, and I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE.

This might be quite difficult.

Today is P's 15th birthday, which seems scarcely possible. I am borrowing that ancient LJ meme, which is comprehensive and yet tells you very little.

It's been an odd year. Personally very happy, which is a wonderful thing and never to be sneezed at.  And yet personally pretty unhappy. Lots of time striving to do things differently, and not always succeeding. Worrying about work a lot.  Jealous of people with proper jobs. Deeply, deeply frustrated by myself, and possibly slightly depressive.

[1.] What did you do in 2011 that you have never done before? 

Acquired a dog.

[2.] Did you keep all of last year's resolutions? 

I'm not sure what they were...

[3.] Have you any resolutions for next year? 

Still pondering.

[4] Did anyone close to you give birth? 

No.

[5] Did anyone close to you die? 

No.

[6.] What countries did you visit? 

Italy, again.

[7.] What would you like to have in 2012 that you didn't have in 2011? 

A steady income.

[8.] What date in 2011 will remain etched in your memory? 

None in particular.

[9.] What was your biggest achievement of the year? 

Staying close to my kids.

[10.] What was your biggest failure? 

Not getting out more. Not making my dreams come true.

[11.] Did you suffer any illness or injury? 

I developed arthritis in my toe which has stopped me from running or doing Zumba, and that's really been the worst thing.

[12.] What was the best thing you bought? 

Alfie, followed by our holiday in Italy.

[13]. Whose behaviour merited celebration? 

B., for just being supportive beyond all things.

[14.] Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed? 

Religious fundamentalists of various hues. Arab Spring despots. The coalition is crap, but doesn't compare.

[15.] Where did most of your money go? 

The studio at the end of the garden.

[16.] What did you get really, really, really excited about? 

Design. The 960 grid system and HTML5.

[17.] What songs will always remind you of 2011? 

Katy Perry, Last Friday Night

[18.] Compared to this time last year are you:

[A] Fatter or thinner? Fatter.
[B] Happier or sadder? Sadder.
[C] Richer or poorer? Poorer.

LOL.

[19.] What do you wish you'd done more of? 

Listening to music, reading, making jewellery.

[20.] What do you wish you'd done less of? 

Moaning and weeping, surfing the internet.

[21.] How did you spend Christmas? 

With B's family, and the wee dog.

[22.] How will you see in the New Year? 

With old friends, as usual.

[23.] Which LJ users did you meet for the first time? 

I think we remained cloaked.

[24.] Did you fall in love in 2011? 

In a way.

[24.] How many one night stands? 

None.

[25.] What was your favourite TV show? 

Fresh Meat, which is a comedy about students.

[26.] Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? 

I don't think so.

[27.] What was/were the best books you read? 

The Shallows, by Nicholas Carr. The works of Christopher Brookmyre.

[28.] What was your greatest musical discovery? 

Adele. Oh, stop laughing at the back.

[29.] What did you want and get? 

A studio.  A dog.

[30.] What did you want and not get? 

Several jobs.

[31.] What was your favourite film this year? 

It's a toss-up between The King's Speech and The Inbetweeners Movie.

[32.] What did you do on your birthday and how old were you? 

I cannot actually remember, but it probably involved bagels and smoked salmon.

[33.] What one thing would have made your year more satisfying? 

More paid work.

[34.] How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010? 

Mad dog lady.

[35.] What kept you sane?

B.

[36.] Which celebrity did you fancy the most? 

None. Perhaps Professor Brian Cox a teeny bit.

[37.] Which political issue stirred you the most? 

The stupidity of the cuts, throwing us right back into recession.

[38.] Who was the best new person you met? 

The dog walkers, and Alfie's mum's family.

[39.] Who did you miss? 

My friends, both on LJ and elsewhere.

[40.] Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned this year?

Change is hard. Dreams can be unhelpful. But dogs are wonderful.

[41.] Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: 

Errr. I can't think of one!

A very happy birthday to ruric !

Hope you have a great day and can spare some time soon between the sanding to get together.

Post over on LJ with studio/dog picspam (can't figure out the uploading on Dreamwidth)

Google minus
I've spent some of the morning trying to figure out my various Gmail accounts and how they link together. From some of the discussion I'm seeing, the features of Google+ might be quite useful, especially to work-me; however, having seen how Google handled Buzz, and how they appear to be handling identity issues with the new service, I'm not so keen. I have two Gmail accounts, one RL and one pseudonymous, and Google already handles it badly.

It's also just completely bloody exhausting.  As is the internet at large.

Oursin linked a piece by the technology writer Aleks Krotoski, in the Guardian, talking about crowded networks. I've seen Aleks speak, and she strikes me as someone who does genuinely get the technology; I suspect she's a bit popular and a bit older, so managing her identity/energy online is getting difficult.

What's bugging me personally is that many of the online haunts that started off as a bit of a refuge from the mundane everyday now really don't reflect me very well. 

I love what LJ has given me in terms of connections and friends, but I'm no longer truthful here.  We know each other too well.  And having dabbled in fandom, I'm right out of it now.  There are stories and films that I love and want to talk about - that's not going away any time soon.  But I'm not a fandom fan; tried on that identity, it doesn't work.  Kind of sad, actually, because it would bring me closer to people, but it's not there.   And because I've been here for a while, I feel like all of the things I could talk about are either lather-rinse-repeat (clutter, kids, overwork, underwork) or just a bit too private.

Dreamwidth: I joined in my terminal-decline phase, and it's just a functional level.

I use Facebook and Twitter for business, and they're doing my head in. I'm not so much on them as performing them. The little that I do write is self-conscious, self-serving, public-facing with about 19 layers of meta consciousness. I can't figure out how to be all of myself on there, and because people friend me randomly from networks, I end up saying precisely nothing. 

I blog as business-me, which is all very nice but it is business-me.  Not so much theatre as high-wire, sometimes. 

It also strikes me that I'd have another 40 hours a week if I used all this stuff a little less.  (and I think that's really what Google+ is up against).

In other news (teeny bit spoilery for details)
Seen Deathly Hallows (twice), very happy.  Now watching making-of documentaries and red carpet speeches.  I'm so pleased that this saga of three teenagers growing up got made into a film series that shows them pretty much growing up in real time.
 
My second DH viewing was more enjoyable and actually much more emotional, as I began to notice lots of little details that previously got shut out by my inner cries of OMG YOU CHANGED THAT.   The soundtrack, for example, which has a Cloverfield-style low regular boom throughout most of the action.  Minerva's shriek of 'COWARD!' as Snape flies off from the Great Hall.  Voldy's eye makeup, which changes dramatically after King's Cross.  Plus all the elaborate detail of the sets.  I watched DH1 again just before my re-viewing and noticed terrific continuity. So for example, Kendra isn't mentioned, but there's an image of her in Rita Skeeter's book on Dumbledore which is taken from the portrait.

Favourite scenes: Griphook & Harry; Hermione/Bellatrix; anything with Minerva McGonagall; everything with Snape; King's Cross (but cleaner). And NEVILLE! *loves* *young Clive Owen* *oops*
A third viewing may be in order. ^^

1. My desktop just died. It's been ailing for months. Have I backed up all my files safely? Have I buggery. Oh well. :( :( (I do have the laptop, but all the Important Documents are on the other computer. I'm assuming I'll be able to get them all off somehow. La la la.

2. Last time this happened, the computer had floppy disks.

3. I've lost my LJ voice. Nothing to say that I haven't already said a million times before.

4. House is beyond awful. I refer you to any of my posts in early 2010.

5. Little E is on healthy nutritious hot packed lunches and the effort is killing me.

6. Young P. has turned 14 and is choosing GCSE subjects, ideally dead easy ones with no writing.

7. I have a new bike and it's incredibly speedy and beautiful. I may have said that already.

8. Since I decided I wouldn't say anything on my pro blog unless I could say something nice, I haven't said anything at all.

9. India Knight on Twitter linked the world at large to an unintentionally hilarious piece from Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop newsletter. Basically, working mother tips from the A-list. My favourite is the venture capitalist who 'curates her social media' while at the gym.

10. A woman in the Observer moaned about Mumsnet people bullying the sensitive writers at Eastenders about the cot death/baby swap/deranged bereaved mother storyline (oops, spoilers).

I couldn't entirely follow the argument, but I was struck by this line:

Those of us without children feel it's for this very reason that we're better placed than mothers to keep clear minds about what is acceptable

Uhuh.

I'm still not sure how I'm going to resolve this, but I have started cross-posting to Livejournal and Dreamwidth.  If any of you are moving to Dreamwidth lock stock and barrel, then I am parthenia on there. Plz to be adding me etc etc. Or not, as the mood takes you *sigh*

What really, really irritates me is that other journal sites actually give you the option to add in crossposting or take it away.  The wee cross-post Twitter/Facebook buttons that stay on LJ comments at the moment totally give me hives. Overall, it suggests that current management have No Fucking Clue about the kind of site that they already have (or, if they do, they wish to drive it towards Facebook to further FB's goal of becoming the AOL for our times). 

In other news, I ran 10 miles AGAIN today and my legs ache.

Ooh, also, yesterday young P. and I went to see Muse at Wembley Stadium.  They were colourful and bombastic. Once again, we added to the giant list of top-name bands that P. and I have left early.  Kings of Leon, Arctic Monkeys, The Prodigy...Muse were very enjoyable but they did go on a bit, and by the time we left (one and a half hours into the set), we'd been there since 6 pm, seen one great support act (White Lies), seen oneoverrated  love child of Nirvana and the Prodigy (Biffy Clyro), driven endlessly around the North Circular, been to Brent Cross shopping centre (aaaaarghhhh) and eaten numerous stodgy battered overpriced crispy things. 

So I drove back and listened to Rhod Gilbert on Radio 2.

Hey hey rock'n'roll.

Ok chaps. I'm crossposting, reply at let the chips fall where they lie.

Meme via ruric

What song are you currently addicted to? None. :(

What's your favorite season? It's a close-run thing: high summer in a Mediterranean country like Greece or Italy; late spring in the Highlands of Scotland; early autumn in England. 

What's the latest movie you watched? Toy Story 3 (in the cinema - awesome whatever your age) and Up In the AiR (George Clooney travels America sacking people - a subtle and very enjoyable film)

What is the one skill you wish you had? Like ruric, to play an instrument well - preferably the electric guitar or the fiddle.

What's your current fandom/obsession/addiction? Harry Potter.  I'm reading along with Markreadsharrypotter, he's in the middle of Order of the Phoenix, and blogging it chapter by chapter.

What's your favorite musical instrument? Violin, in the form of Scottish and Irish reels.

What web sites do you always visit when you go online?  LiveJournal, Twitter, Markreadsharrypotter and then a host of small business blogs (The Fluent Self, Self Activator, Productive Flourishing - oh you get the picture ;-)

What was the last thing you bought?  A completely hideous takeaway for me and little E., from Burger Roi, as we like to call it.

If you win 10,000 bucks today, what would you do with it?  Take the family travelling in Canada with an RV.   Go to Australia for a month.  Completely make over our bedroom.   Buy a dog and occasional dog-sitter.

Last concert? The Latitude Festival, in July; but I'm going to see Muse on Saturday at Wembley Stadium.

What could be one of the best things to happen to you right now? Connections, man. Too much lonetime.

What's your favorite food?  I like Mexican food a lot but Italian cooking is the dog's bollocks.  Lebanese is pretty good too. Favourite dish: Loin of lamb with garlic and cumin, accompanied by creamed spinach, chargrilled aubergines and crushed potatoes.

Do you want to learn another language? I'd like to speak Italian properly, but I already speak French, German, Italian and Spanish badly; and I can manage drinks/train tickets in Greek and Japanese. But not at the same time.

Five things you can't live without. Reading, writing, the Western Highlands, my family, time alone. 

Quite the worst-thought-through idea that LJ has ever had: the ability to cross-post your entries and comments to Facebook and Twitter! Even on a locked journal if I'm not mistaken! Because God knows, pseudonyms are evil and only used by bad people with things to hide.

http://news.livejournal.com/129190.html

Christ on a cracker. Sorry.

And it goes without saying but if you plan on cross-posting, I won't comment and I might defriend. Anyone who cross-posts comments on locked items to Facebook and Twitter can expect to be picking up their teeth with broken fingers. Not least because I'll know where you live.

My new iphone has arrived.

*clasps it and croons*

So very, very pretty.

Dear iphone users, what marvellous things should I be using?

Tomorrow I will pack my portcode, or something like that.